Valley Walking: Oil and Water

If you have ever tried pouring oil into a glass of water, you will see that the oil will not combine with the water. Even when you try to mix the two together, the oil will separate and rise to the top. This is because the two liquids are made up of very different molecules and are polar opposites that repel each other.

When we get married, we invite God to bless our union but what if one of us within that union no longer wants to be in the marriage, or they have made it impossible for us to remain married to them? I was desperate for God to bring about a change in my husband’s heart and for our marriage not to end.

One day, when I was praying for guidance, I felt God say to me that my husband and I were ‘oil and water.’ This wasn’t the answer I was hoping for.

What this signified to me, was that my husband and I were ultimately unable to come together, to combine. That we were fundamentally different with opposing qualities.

Being different isn’t always a bad thing but it was clear in my situation that the change in my husband’s basic core values, the things that shaped him and made him who he was, meant that we could not meld and remain as one anymore. I understand God’s love to be a transforming power but I also understand that in order for transformation to take place both people in the marriage need to be open to receiving this. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case.

If your spouse is making it impossible for you to remain in the marriage or you have no choice in the matter and they have left you, please know that God hasn’t abandoned you and isn’t ignoring your prayers. As much as the blessing God poured over you both on your wedding day remains, He has also blessed us all with free will. If your spouse is now behaving in ways that are a polar opposite to your ‘molecules,’ as much as we may try to meld with them, there will always be a separation.


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