The night I found a text from another woman on my husband’s phone marked the end of what I believed to be a fairy tale marriage. “Who is she?” I pleaded. He ran from me and then forty-eight hours later returned to shred any last hopes of saving the marriage when he landed the D word at my feet. I had been blindsided, nestled in a false blanket of safety and trust. I thought that we were hopelessly in love, a bond so sacred and unbreakable.
People have asked me, “didn’t you see the signs?” We were trying for a family, I was being told how loved I was and how happy he was, the night all hell broke loose we were sat on the sofa cuddling. No, I didn’t see the signs. Frightening, isn’t it?
There was someone else in the wings and that night I had unknowingly walked up to my husband and ripped the mask away from him when he wasn’t expecting it. This left two options, he could have stayed, worked hard and fought for our marriage or walked away and started again, with a shiny, new, younger model. He chose the latter.
I talk in jest, but I liken that awful day to an explosion that blew up my life. For some time I lay wounded, in shock, fear and desperation. After some months and with my ears still ringing from the blast, I checked my heart and it was still beating, I had survived the initial impact. Although there is a long way to go, what comes next is recovery, fresh open wounds that may heal but surely scar.
This is my personal story. I was a faithful wife who one day had the rug pulled out from beneath her and lost everything in one fleeting moment.
Divorce isn’t something anyone wants in their life and as a Christian I found that there were extra layers to contend with. It wasn’t something I wanted but it happened. I am not the first and I definitely won’t be the last.
With church ethics set aside around the issue of divorce, I want to help others explore the uncomfortable reality of being in a situation that you didn’t want but have been been thrust into and how we can come out of it the other side, faith intact, if not stronger.
I am deeply sorry that you are experiencing the profound loss of your marriage. What you are going through will be one of the biggest and hardest tests of your life. A test of survival, a test of character, a test of strength and a test of faith. I hope that I can help you navigate through the intense experience that is divorce, so that you can one day stand up from the wreckage and say, ‘I survived.’
All information and content included in this blog is meant for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon or viewed as medical, emotional or psychological advice. The purpose of this blog is to share my personal story, my ideas and outlooks in the hope that it might be relevant to others experiencing the same journey. Any information used, acted upon or relied upon will be at your own risk.
I am not a medical professional, divorce solicitor, or psychologist. I am purely posting information based on my personal journey and experiences. Therefore, it is important you consult with any of the above professionals before taking any kind of action.
All opinion, comment and ideas are my own and (as I am only human) there may be some errors, omissions and mistakes.
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