Victor Hugo once wrote, “music expresses that which cannot be put into words.”
Throughout this difficult time in my life, music has formed such an important part of my healing. There have been so many days where I have woken up and within an instant, been struck by the stark reality of my situation. There have been countless days where I struggle to even get up and out of bed, to begin another day.
As time has gone on, I have felt myself getting stronger, smiling more, laughing more and letting joy back in. I look back and see that although I have some way to go, I have come so far.
There is one thing that seems to have remained very much the same. A set routine I have put in place to help motivate me to face each new day. Something which has helped me so much. The first thing I do when I wake is reach for my iPhone and hit play on a playlist that is crammed with inspirational music. I have felt all along, that to overcome these trials, that is exactly what I need each morning, inspiration. Inspiration to get up, to shower, get dressed and leave the home.
I find that I can draw on the energy that those songs create; the survival, the fight, the attitude, the ‘get up and go!’ Before all of this happened with my marriage, music was a joy but now it’s become so much more. A single line from a song can give me what I need to tell myself, “I can do this, I can survive.” A single song can capture the things I couldn’t even begin to express. I have come to connect to music in a whole new way and have drawn so much encouragement from it.
Perhaps I can explain it better like this …
In my darkest days, ABBA reminded me that, “the sun is still in the sky and shining above you.” Cher acknowledged the fears that are sometimes inside of me, the fact that, when it comes to starting again, “I really don’t think I’m strong enough.” Kelly Clarkson reassured me that, “it doesn’t mean I’m over cuz your gone.” Crowded House told me not to ever “dream it’s over.”
Gloria Gayner said that someday my ex husband would “see me somebody new, not that chained up little person still in love with you.” Fleetwood Mac told me that, “you can go your own way” and so can I.
Bruce Springsteen gave me the fight to carry on, because “you can’t start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart.” When dealing with the hurt and pain, Des’ree encouraged me to be “badder, bolder, wiser, harder, tougher and stronger.” Whitney let me know that, “I was not built to break.”
When things felt bleak and hopeless, Florence and the Machine promised me that “it’s always darkest before the dawn” and The 5th Dimension encouraged me, that when the time was right, I would have to “let the sunshine in.”
When the hurt and injustice was too much to bare, Stevie Wonder helped me “to keep on trying, until I reach the higher ground.” When I felt I had nothing left within me, Wilson Phillips helped me “hold on for one more day.”Andrea Day told me that there would come a time when I would “Rise up, rise like the day.” And soon I was, dancing with myself (and The Donnas) and shaking it off with Taylor Swift.
When I felt like I wasn’t coping and I needed that extra oomph, Elton reminded me that, “I’m still standing after all this time, picking up the pieces of my life without you by my side,” while, Queen praised that, “I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face but I’ve come through.”
Destiny’s child told me I was a survivor, Christina called me a fighter, Fifth Harmony made me feel like a “Bo$$” and Sara Bareilles said I could be brave.
I am so thankful for the music that is helping me to deal with this time in my life and the hope it has ignited in me. When trying to navigate through this turbulent time, music has become such a helpful and powerful tool and has played a key part in my healing. I pray that God will bring into your life, all of the tools that you need to support you in your time of healing.