Recently, I was chatting with a close friend about the powerful impact of betrayal, hurt and abandonment and the many ways it affects a person's life and their identity. I found myself talking about the "victim frame of mind" that, at times, I have needed to avoid slipping into during my own experience with betrayal. … Continue reading Victim or Escapee
That day was much like every other day, it begun as it usually did, with a sleepy early morning kiss from my husband before he left for work and me getting ready for the day ahead. I now look back, at that girl and see that she was blissfully naïve to fact that her life … Continue reading Being Enough
Doesn’t the world feel like such a different place? Just when I thought that my new post-divorce world couldn’t feel more alien, somehow the unimaginable crept up on us all. I want to begin by sending love and prayers to you all. I feel so deeply sad for those who have suffered so dreadfully through … Continue reading Newly Divorced in Lockdown – Lessons Learned
Victor Hugo once wrote, "music expresses that which cannot be put into words." Throughout this difficult time in my life, music has formed such an important part of my healing. There have been so many days where I have woken up and within an instant, been struck by the stark reality of my situation. There … Continue reading The Healing Power Of Music
I would like to begin by apologising for not posting for a while. Writing this blog and sharing my experiences with others, some of whom are also on this difficult path, has been like a gold thread in so much darkness and pain. Unfortunately, for a time, I came to find that each time I … Continue reading Valley Walking: Find Me There
We have all heard of the old saying, ignorance is bliss. Sometimes reality can be so painful to face, that we can prefer to block it out. I was guilty of doing this, until one day, I realised I couldn't any longer. In my marriage there had been no mention of any discontent, there had … Continue reading Reality Check: Confronting The Reality
My heart aches reading the letters and cards that my husband sent to me throughout our marriage. Valentines cards, birthday cards, anniversary cards, all confessing the feelings he had for me. But, I have come to find that I feel a very different kind of pain, one far deeper, when I read the cards and … Continue reading Valley Walking: Missing The Way We Loved Them
I once read a quote that said; "Grief is just love with no place to go." For some reason, since reading this quote, I find that its words often crawl over my mind when I open my eyes in the morning and when I close them at night. I think that perhaps, on some simple … Continue reading Strange New World: Where Do I Put All Of This Love?
“Dorothy now took Toto up solemnly in her arms, and having said one last good-bye she clapped the heels of her shoes together three times, saying... ." A story should follow a pattern, right? A beginning, a middle and an end. So what happens when a story is abruptly cut short before we reach the … Continue reading Valley Walking: Sudden Endings.
Even though my husband went to work very early, I would make him promise to kiss me each day before he left, even if I was still fast asleep. He once told me that he often felt bad waking me but I would insist he did because it made me so sad, the thought of … Continue reading 2018: The Gifts I Wouldn’t Give Back