There are so many difficult things I have been forced to face throughout the loss of my marriage. During this time, it has felt like a glaring spotlight has been shone on my life, my relationship and my identity. It has illuminated all of the flaws and faults, the weaknesses and mistakes. One of the … Continue reading Reality Check: Decoding The Dynamic
Would you ever take him back? It's a question I get asked a lot. My marriage meant everything to me, as did my husband. I loved him so deeply and couldn't even bear to think of a world without him. I know, without any doubt in my mind, I loved him so much that I … Continue reading Reality Check: Clinging To A Love That Hurts
In a relationship, we are programmed to see the good in those we love. Our feelings for them run so deep that the bad elements of their behaviour can often be cancelled out by the good. If we want to remain with this person, we can choose to focus more heavily on those good parts. … Continue reading Reality Check: The Excuse Factory
The desire for the truth. It has been the catalyst for countless stories of discovery throughout the ages. We have a natural desire within us to uncover, unearth and unveil and when it’s about something important to us, that desire can be too great to ignore. Before finding out about my husbands infidelity, I hadn’t … Continue reading Reality Check: The Instinct to Investigate
My marriage went up in smoke the day I found a text from another woman on my husband's phone. So many people ask me whether I saw it coming. I wish I had but I didn’t. I had been totally blind to the signs of his unfaithfulness. Now as I look back I see so many … Continue reading Reality Check: The Affair Signs I Didn’t See
Gaslighting is a form of mental and emotional abuse, whereby someone attempts to manipulate, confuse, distort or deny your understanding of reality. Many of us will have experienced this at one point or another in our lives but when it becomes an ongoing feature of a relationship, the effects can be extremely distressing. It can impact … Continue reading Reality Check: The Subtle Art Of Gaslighting
Divorce forces you to reassess what you thought you knew about relationships and about human behaviour in general. In my situation, my husband left me for another woman and discarded me in a very cruel way. This may sound naive of me but one of the things that has shocked me the most in all of … Continue reading Reality Check: Raising The Bar On Hurt
In the movie business, a screenwriter may be told to do a 'rewrite' of their screenplay. This usually consists of using the original version of their story as a rough guide but manipulating and editing its events so that it works better for the intended viewer. This might mean losing major scenes from its timeline, … Continue reading Reality Check: The Rewrite Of You
Mahatma Gandhi once said, "The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within." How many of us have accepted a tyrant in our lives? How many of us have given power over to someone or worst still had it snatched from us? There are so many dynamics at play in a … Continue reading Reality Check: Taking back Control
This week I felt angry. It felt good! The anger made me feel in control, it gave me a brief interval from the awful feelings of loss that I have been experiencing. My mind has been demanding answers, with the words, "how could you do this to me?" repeating loudly in my head all week, … Continue reading Valley Walking: Anger That Serves a Purpose
