Being betrayed and left for another is a brutal and very strange kind of experience. It leaves you changed and undone. In my case it was a pain unlike anything I had ever experienced and it completely shifted my reality, my world as I had known it. The pain was immense and unrelenting. A pain … Continue reading Reality Check: Challenging Negative Self-talk
Recently, I was chatting with a close friend about the powerful impact of betrayal, hurt and abandonment and the many ways it affects a person's life and their identity. I found myself talking about the "victim frame of mind" that, at times, I have needed to avoid slipping into during my own experience with betrayal. … Continue reading Victim or Escapee
This is about you now. A single statement that I found so hard to hear at the beginning of this nightmare. It was a sentence that I seemed to read on so many blogs, support forums and advice columns. It was something that I heard from so many loved ones and friends. I heard these … Continue reading Reality Check: This Is About You Now
We have all heard of the old saying, ignorance is bliss. Sometimes reality can be so painful to face, that we can prefer to block it out. I was guilty of doing this, until one day, I realised I couldn't any longer. In my marriage there had been no mention of any discontent, there had … Continue reading Reality Check: Confronting The Reality
While some view life as a journey, others view it as a race. Either way, for most people, life seems to move steadily forward as our lives evolve. However, sometimes, events in our lives can make it feel as though we have been dragged right back to the starting line again. Divorce is one such event … Continue reading Reality Check: The Ex Games
When the one we love leaves us, it can feel utterly unfathomable. Despite the awful shock that we have suffered, we can still have these intense feelings of love that hasn't wavered, this fierce sense of loyalty that remains and to us, the deep-rooted bond we have developed can remain as present as it ever was. But … Continue reading Reality Check: Doing All The Brain Work
The desire for the truth. It has been the catalyst for countless stories of discovery throughout the ages. We have a natural desire within us to uncover, unearth and unveil and when it’s about something important to us, that desire can be too great to ignore. Before finding out about my husbands infidelity, I hadn’t … Continue reading Reality Check: The Instinct to Investigate
Revenge. It’s a loaded word. Some people like to refer to it as justice. Revenge is possibly one of the most primal instincts within each of us but it takes a specific event, behaviour or action from another to unleash it. What differs between each of us, is our ability for restraint in acting upon the … Continue reading Reality Check: Resisting Revenge
My marriage went up in smoke the day I found a text from another woman on my husband's phone. So many people ask me whether I saw it coming. I wish I had but I didn’t. I had been totally blind to the signs of his unfaithfulness. Now as I look back I see so many … Continue reading Reality Check: The Affair Signs I Didn’t See
In the movie business, a screenwriter may be told to do a 'rewrite' of their screenplay. This usually consists of using the original version of their story as a rough guide but manipulating and editing its events so that it works better for the intended viewer. This might mean losing major scenes from its timeline, … Continue reading Reality Check: The Rewrite Of You
Devoted and Divorced 